How to Become a North Korean Marketer

north korean crushes competition

north korean marketing

Post inspired by David Meerman Scott’s (@dmscott) keynote at Inbound 2012 presented by Hubspot. Inbound 2012 Photo courtesy of @paulfuriga


10 Steps to Become a North Korean Marketer

Step 1. Eliminate Your Sales Funnel – There is no need for a top of the funnel when the bottom is most important.

north korean sales funnel

Step 2. All CTAs are now OTAs (orders to action) – Don’t ask someone to click, MAKE THEM CLICK



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Step 3. Every landing page delivers the “Why Our Company is Awesome eBook”. CLICK HERE NOW

north korean marketing ebook company is awesome

north korean inbound marketing landing page

 

Step 4. Your Tweets Wage Psychological Warfare on Your Followers

twitter campaign

Step 5. Your Facebook account serves as a fundamental element to your propaganda campaign

Step 6. Be sure to place a photo of your CEO on every page to reinforce who’s in charge (note: a smile will weaken your brand)

north korean leader photo

Step 7. Nurturing programs are now a blitzkrieg campaign (start with the sales pitch and end with the sales pitch)

email marketing north korean

Step 8. Any words against the company will be punishable by death

Step 9. Form fields should be challenging and plentiful. Click here for our “Why Our Company is Awesome” eBook. All offer pages, no matter the quality of the offer, should ask for as much information from the user as possible.

Step 10. WHEN CREATING A TOP 10 BLOG POST, THE LAST ITEM SHOULD BE IN ALL CAPS TO EMPHASIZE THE LAST POINT.

 

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taylor vowell inbound marketer
Taylor Vowell

spencer powell inbound marketer
Spencer Powell

Written by Taylor Vowell and Spencer Powell

Taylor Vowell and Spencer Powell are certified inbound marketing specialists for www.tmrdirect.com